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Nov 18

Best Ways to Waste Money

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Wasting money is fun and cool.  Why is this on my website?  Well, because I’m having a bit of fun here.  This is meant as a satire.  If you are here because you want to get the most out of what you have so that you can have more for what you love, just do the opposite.  With that being said, here are the best and coolest ways to waste money:

1.  Care About What Other People Think

You better care about what complete strangers think, otherwise you could be faced with backtalk and derision that you will never hear between people that you will never see.  Nothing could be worse than having a complete and utter stranger laugh at you and your ridiculous focus on spending money on what you enjoy the most.

2.  Buy a Car That You Can’t Afford

Best Ways To Waste Money

Best Ways To Waste Money

Nothing is cooler than tooling around in a really expensive car.  After all, you only live once.  Why do people even bother not buying a car well beyond their means?  I mean, really.  We apparently live in a country of multi-millionaires judging from the cars that I see tooling around town.  300 series BMWs are for Toyota drivers who want to look rich.  If you really want to make an impression, spring for a 700 series that will set you back a huge down payment on a home.  All the hype about the truly rich getting rich buy spending less that what they make and saving is utter nonsense.  Show everyone that you are super rich by driving a car that even Warren Buffett seemingly can’t afford (he drives an early model Cadillac).

3)  The $100,000 Wedding

Nothing says love, opulence, and luxury better than a really expensive wedding.  It is a special day, after all.  So what if the bills for the wedding could soon afterwards lead to huge financial pressures for the newlyweds?  So what if that money could have been used as a sweet down payment on a first home for the loving couple?  Nothing says love and devotion better than starting off into a situation that will bring pressures to the new couple almost immediately – what a truly romantic test of love that both spouses can enjoy and bond together with.

4)  Get a Deluxe TV Cable Package

There’s so much variety in programming these days that it definitely makes sense to get cable – especially a deluxe package.  You will have a myriad of programs to choose from; ranging everywhere from hundreds of reality shows to hundreds of other reality shows.  You’ll be able to watch people living their lives while you sit on the couch in the comfort of your own home.   You’ll live the reality of the ‘underdog’ making it big as you just sit there night after night.  A continuous and repetitive feed of soma to keep you feeling good about yourself and your own life.  A must have in every household.

5)  Buy a House the You Can’t Afford or even Need

Overextending your credit is a great way to provide stability and bliss to your life.  If you can get the mortgage approval, buy the single biggest house that they’re willing to give you a loan for.  Everyone knows that real estate is an awesome investment (except for those millions that recently lost their homes in the US because they couldn’t afford them and because they were given mortgages with nothing down – this will never happen to you because you are far too smart).  Maintenance costs and repairs are overrated expenses.  There is nothing that a bit of duct tape and some WD-40 can’t fix (future employers will love your ‘can do’ attitude).  Heating rooms that you will never use is a great way to show that you are rich, confident,  and that you have an unshakeable belief in your earning power and continuously growing real estate values.

These are just a few of the best ways to waste money.  There are a lot more out there.  I hope to revisit this topic sometime in the near future.  Remember to come back to froogalism.com soon for updates on this and other issues.    Read other froogalism commentaries by clicking here!  Thanks for dropping by.

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Author: Jason Milburn Google

Frugal dad – focusing my money and energy towards happiness and the things that matter most since around 1985.

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2 comments

  1. Laura Alary

    Hi Jason,

    I might add that women have an extra-special opportunity to pour money down the drain (literally) thanks to the clever marketing ploy of offering more expensive versions of unnecessarily gendered products (e.g. shampoo, scented shaving cream, razors). Choose pink and floral and pay more. Or not.

  2. Jason

    Hi Laura,

    As the father of a five year old daughter, I have noticed this as well. Thanks for adding to the discussion.

    Kind regards, Jason

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